Calm, Hana. You will not be stupid forever

Alhamdulillah hari ini presentasi analisis jurnal mata kuliah Diri dalam kehidupan Sosial (dirsos ) berjalan lancar. 彡(ﾉﾟ▽ﾟ)ﾉJurnal yang dianalisis itu

McDaniel, B. L. & Grice, J.W.(2007). ‘Predicting psychological well-being from self-discrepancies: Acomparison of idiographic and nomothetic measures’,Self and Identity,7:3,243 — 261. Doi 10.1080/15298860701438364

Seminggu kemarin jurnal ini sukses membuat senyum menghilang dari wajah gue karena gue berasa bego pas baca jurnal tersebut. Gue ngga ngerti-ngerti padahal udah sampe jungkir balik baca tu jurnal. Gue sangat khawatir paper yang gue buat bakalan dapet nilai jelek dan gue terlihat bodoh. I don’t want to look stupid. Mengingat kelompok gue adalah kelompok pertama yang tampil, gue pengen bisa nampilin presentasi dengan baik. Tapi gimana caranya gue bisa analisis dan presentasi dengan baik kalau ternyata paham isi jurnal itu aja gue ngga ngerti. (;° ロ°)

Gue punya irrasional belief kalau gue ngga pinter, ngga bakal ada yang mau jadi temen gue. Selain itu gue takut ngecewain dosen dan temen-temen gue kalau paper yang gue buat jelek. Intinya gue stress.

Gue pun curhat ke Joe dan sempet terhibur karena Joe bilang kalau jurnal tersebut adalah jurnal untuk S2. Self-esteem gue mulai membaik. Gue tiba-tiba ingat gue pernah curhat sama joe tentang masalah ketakutan gue sama senior dan dia bilang mungkin kognitif (pikiran) gue yang harus dibenerin. Gue berpikir mungkin gue harus melakukan hal yang sama juga untuk masalah ini dan gue berusaha mencari-cari kata-kata bijak yang menghibur gue.

Alhamdulillah gue teringat kata-kata bijak waktu gue main ke SMAK 7 penabur. Gue inget gue ngeliat gambar seorang anak cowok mengangkat tangan dan anak-anak di sekitarnya meihat ke  arah dia. Di bawah gambar tersebut tertulis “He may look stupid for five minutes, but he will not be stupid forever”. 

Sumpah kalimat tersebut nohok banget karena terkadang alasan gue takut buat nanya kalau di kelas adalah takut terlihat bodoh. Kalimat tersebut juga menyindir kesombongan gue. Gue inget gue pernah nganggep salah seorang temen gue bodoh karena dia selalu nanya hal yang simple dan hal-hal yang sebenarnya dosennya udah ngejelasin dan buat gue sih jelas-jelas aja. Tapi dia malah nanya. Dalam hati gue bertanya-tanya “ni orang merhatiin ga sih?”. 

Tapi kalian tahu ngga? Nilai ujian dia tuh lebih bagus dari nilai ujian gue. Dia dapet 90 sementara gue Cuma 70.  Insight yang gue dapet sih lebih baik berani nanya dan terlihat bodoh selama 5 menit dibanding  diem aja karena takut terlihat bodoh tapi malah jadi bodoh beneran. Kalimat “He may looks stupid for five minutes, but he will not be stupid forever” berlaku juga buat kondisi gue saat ini. Mungkin gue sebaiknya berusaha sebisa mungkin menganalisis jurnal tersebut dan melupakan ketakutan gue terlihat bodoh. Jika nanti ternyata analisis jurnal gue salah ataupun presentasi gue jelek, it’s fine. Gue paling terlihat bodoh selama pertemuan tersebut tapi bukan berarti gue bakal terus-terusan jadi orang bodoh. Gue masih berkesempatan memperbaiki kesalahan gue sehingga tugas-tugas selanjutnya gue bisa mengerjakan dengan lebih baik. :D Amin :D

Semangat hana (◦`⌣')9

Girls always wait for the world to give them things. To see what sweet, smart, obedient girls they are, then paste a star on their foreheads. It doesn’t work that way. The things you really want in life, you have to take. THE FLAMENCO ACADEMY BY SARAH BIRD

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next.
Delicious Ambiguity. GILDA RADNER

I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone. -Bill cosby

Never love anybody who treats you like you’re ordinary -Oscar Wilde

Whatever you describe to another person is also a revelation of who you are and who you think you are. You can not describe anything without betraying your point of view, your aspirations, your fears, your hopes. Everything.

JAMES BALDWIN

The truth is we all get tired, we all get weary. In fact, if you never feel like giving up, then your dreams are too small. If you never feel like quitting, then you need to set some larger goals. When that pressure comes to get discouraged and to think about how you can’t take it anymore, that is completely normal. Every person feels that way at times. JOEL OSTEEN

Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple. DR. SEUSS

my favorites quotes about developmental psy and psychoanalysis :D

there is nothing is permanent expect change -heraclitus

there is one thing even more vital to science than intelligent methods;
and that is, the sincere desire to find out the truth, whatever it may be. -charles Sanders Pierce

if I could have watched you grow
as magical mother might
if I could hae seen through my magical transparent belly,
there would have been such ripening within -Anne Sexton, 1966

the experience of the 1st three years of life are almost entirely lost to us.
& when we attempt to enter into a small child's world,
we come as foreigners who have forgetten the landscape
& no longer speak the native tongue -Selma Fraiberg


so runs my dream; but what am I?
an infant crying in the night;
an infant crying for the light,
and with no language but cry -Alfred, Lord Tennyson, In Memoriam, Canto 54, 1850

i'm like child
trying to do everything
say everything
and be averything
all at once -John hartford, "Life Prayer", 1971

Children live in a world of imagination & feeling....
They invest the most insignificant object in any form
they please, and see in it whatever they wish to see -Adam G. Oehlenschlager, 1857

Play gives children a chance to practice what they are learning....
They have to play with what they know to be true in order to find out more,
and then they can use what they learn in new forms of play -Fred Rogers, 1983

What we must remember above all in the education of our children
is that their love of live should never weaken -Natalie Ginzburg, 1985

Have you ever like nobody?
Just tiny speck of air
When everyone's around you
And you are just not there -Karen Crawford, age 9

this face in the mirror
stares at me
demanding Who are you? What will you become?
and taunting, You don't even know
Chastened, I cringed and agree
an then
because I'm still young
I stick out my tounge -Eve Merriam, 1964

if...happiness is the absence of fever then I will never know happiness.
For I am possessed by a fever for knowledge, experience, & creation -Diary of Anais Nin (1931-1934)

There is still today
And tomorrow fresh with dreams;
Life never grows old -Rita Duskin,"Haiku", Sound and Light, 1987

Every aduts is in need of help, of warmth, of protection
,,,in many ways differing [form] and yet in many ways similar to the needs of the child
-Erich Fromm, 1955


If I couldn’t be pretty, I decided I would be smart -Karen Horney

One is very crazy when in love  . . .
Whoever loves becomes humble.
Those who love have, so to speak,
pawned a part of their narcissism -Sigmund Freud

Yes, America is gigantic,
but a gigantic mistake -Sigmund Freud

Where love rules, there is no will to power;
and where power predominates, there love is lacking.
The one is the shadow of the other. -C.G. Jung

Show me a sane man
and I will cure him for you -C.G. Jung

Exaggerated sensitiveness is an expression of the feeling of inferiority -alfred Adler

Concern should drive us into action, not into a depression  -Karen Horney

Love is often nothing but a favorable exchange between two people
who get the most of what they can expect,
considering their value on the personality market.-E. Fromm

The mother-child relationship is paradoxical and,
in a sense, tragic. It requires the most intense love on the mother's side,
yet this very love must help the child grow away from the mother,
and to become fully independent.  -E. Fromm

What you know about the people whom you know at all well is truly amazing,
even though you have never formulated it -H. S. Sullivan

When the satisfaction or the security of another person becomes as significant to
one as one's own satisfaction or security,
then the state of love exists.
Under no othercircumstances is a state of love present,
regardless of the popular usage of the term -H. S. Sullivan