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Fake Cofidence

I just got back from Executive Event: The Future-Ready Organization, Reinventing Work in ASEAN held by Accenture and SWA at Kempinski Hotel
My Manager and Mas Joko asked me suddenly in the morning so I came with unpreprared outfit
I just wear  casual cardigan plus long skirt and when I saw the other guest, I felt down because they wear better dress. I lost my confidence and I want to wear better outfit. After sometime I realized something that I decide the level of confidence based on my outfit. It is not good. How could I become stupid?
Outfit did not matter.
I remember the successful people who wear simple and casual outfit and they are still cool because their personality and their skill outshine their outfit.
I felt shame to forget about that.
I said to my self that maybe in the future there will a lot unexpected event happened when I wear my casual outfit and as long as I delivered best performance, what I wear will not matter.
If I depend my level confidence based my outfit, It mean it is fake confidence.
It is not come from within or my inner self.
These event made me realized that I should be more believe in my self  and be more confidence.
Maybe today event is one of exercise or practice for me.
Allah knows best!
Good Luck for me

Perfection trap

After watch  Im Trying But I Keep Messing Up - Yasmin Mogahed
I just realized something:  one of devil's trick is to make us think to wait to be perfect to start something good
I just recalled  when I was in middle school I did not want to put hijab because I feel I am not good or perfect enough as Muslimah
So I want to wait until I became perfect
But the problem is that I will never be perfect because I am human
Human make mistake
The perfection only belongs to Allah
Man's duties are trying to be good (to worship God) and repent every time do wrong
So if I want to do good, I just have to do it NOW!
or as soon as possible
Don't wait to do good before it is too late
We will never know if we still have a chance do it since the death can come anytime

O Allah
Please help me and my readers to always do good deeds as soon as possible
Don't let the devil trick us or fool us
Protect us from the devil
Guide us to the right path
Don't let us go astray after You guide us
La haula walla kuwata illa billah

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Dream Dress

Alhamdulilah \(^o^)/ 
The fortune that has been written belong to me will come to me, no matter the circumstance  
There is a dress that I want when I went shopping to Matahari Depok Town Square back in the February.

I want to wear the dress for faculty graduation
But when I check my wallet, I did not have that much money so I let it go with heavy heart
Then at 6th Sep, I went shopping to Matahari Supermall Karawang and I found the dress that I wanted back in February
And It is discounted 50%+20%!
I asked my mom to buy it for me :D
Thankfully she agreed! 
Alhamdulillah :D
I am really lucky 

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What is my number

During the process of looking for job after graduation, I face some let down phase
At that time, I had two or three times rejected.
I thought after graduation, I will find a job easily.
then I consulted to my senior, kak Reno. He told me that he applied 100 jobs vacancies and through 20 interviews to get the job he got right now (System Engineer at Dimension Data)
After hear that, I got my spirit up and I was like "Well I have not reach 100th yet, so I should not be sad and give up easily"
I also remember one of my friend who said during university admission "I envy you, Hana. You got accepted at University of Indonesia while I still have to struggle to get University admission"
Ah.. Maybe it is my turn now to feel like she feel
The other thing that made me optimist is Aa Gym's Lecture: UI Bertauhid

After trial and trial

Image courtesy of ponsulak at

It took me long to realized that I made a lot mistakes during the process
Maybe you guys should read this: Congratulations Graduate! Eleven Reasons Why I Will Never Hire You and  How to make right CV (the article in bahasa Indonesia) 
I made almost all mistake mentioned at that article (presentation), not at one time but during my process of getting a job

Two other big mistakes that I realized are
a. I am not look for the job that I passionate about
b. I have been not grateful after graduation (Astagfirullah. Forgive me, Allah)

After my friend Ika got the job she dreamed about, I just realized something profound: I want to be a researcher and writer or any job that allow me to learn continuously and quite challenging

So I started to look researcher job and applied
And Thanks God, It went well
Now I worked at SWA Magazine as Research Executive

Can you guess how many times I applied?
Well, It is almost 200 jobs vacancies
I am glad I did not give up
La haula walla kuwata illa billah

One my insight during the job searching is that Allah want me to be grateful because too often I take something for granted when I get thing easily
Maybe it is true when somebody said that life start after you graduate
Whatever it is, I believe Allah always give the best to His servant

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Teh Tawar and Teh Manis

Whenever I and my best friend, Fida,  have dinner
Did you know what we always order for the drink?
Yup it is the same as the tittle :D
I always order teh tawar and Fida always order teh manis.
It actually quite represent the culture where we come from or how we raised .
I am Sundanese (and it is common to have teh tawar as drink)
While Fida is Javanese (she comes from Yogyakarta) and it is common for her to have teh manis as drink
Despite we often went to have dinner together, we often forget each other's choice for drink
I often ask her what she want for drink even she often order teh manis
and vice versa
then we repeat our conversation about how we puzzled about each other choice of drink
I am grateful to have her as my best friend
and despite we have differences, we choose to stay together
And I think that is important

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At my second day at work I find my self surprised and moved (#´ー´)旦 when I saw a glass of water on my desk.
 It made me think "Whoaa! I am really part of SWA now! I am an employee" (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧
 I mean I often found a glass of water on the lecturer's desk
and at that time, I did not imagine I will get something similar someday (At Indian Embassy, I have to bring my own tumbler but I can refill it).
 Another surprise is that the operator system that my computer use is Linux (I have tried use Linux at middle school and I remembered it hard to operate).
I hope I can adapt.
(Using Linux is not that hard as I remember back then in the middle school)
My Assistant Manager, Mas Aswin has come back from Eid Leave. he told me the job description. he seems nice and fun but he looks puzzled when I did not asked any question after his explanation finished. But I really did not know what to ask, maybe because I already asked several question to Mas Rizki and Mas Armi yesterday so I kinda get the picture of Mas Aswin's description.
I also get human resources tour for second time because some people just got back from Eid leave.

And before I knew it,  It’s been a month I worked at SWA
Alhamdulillah :D
I like working here
Things I like in SWA:
-I have nice coworkers
-I can read several magazine and newspaper like HBR, Gatra, Tempo, Times, Fast company, dewi, Kompas, Republika, Wallstreet Journal, Asia Forbes,etc
-I can pray duha and read quran during work hours
-I can wear casual clothes at work
-Working at SWA made realize that I knew little/nothing. At first I felt stupid because there are many things I do not know. Then I remembered
"If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?"  - Albert Einstein

If I already knew the answer, what is the point of doing research? : D  

Other positive sides of the fact that I did not know a lot of things are that I learned so many things every day and I learned to stay foolish stay hunger, I must have the courage to ask my co-workers or find out for yourself.
 -It allow me to meet a lot new people (SWA Research and Documentation Departemenrt often held competition, such best CEO, HR Excellence, etc )

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