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Mulligan, The Second Chance

Mulligan in a golf game, happens when a player gets a second chance to perform a certain move or action. The practice is also sometimes referred to as a "do-over."

I hated Abi (father) because to me he was not a good father

My father is not perfect , he did not work like other fathers , did not care, did not play with his children , rarely present ( as it does not matter ) , and many others

Until one day I discovered my father fell ill
that moment I realized , I hate him because I love him
I have a lot of hope and expectation to him , but a lot of them did not come true
leaving  my disappointment piled , I did not forgive him and then it turned into hatred

Then one day, I read  Tere Liye's facebook status
 "We can not choose our parents , can not choose born from a wealthy family , king , handsome - beautiful parents and etc. But it does not mean we can not choose to be grateful at this time. There is always a reason why we live this way. And if we do not understand , then it does not mean God is not fair .- Tere Liye , the novel " Rembulan Tenggelam Di Wajahmu " 
After I read the facebook status, I am aware of one thing : our parents are God's destiny and choice. 
God knows the best for us. God can not be wrong in choosing our parents.
The best and most suitable father for me by God is abi.

I thought I would give it a second chance and try to forgive Abi.
I try to look my father’s positive side so I can see him in positive light.
The things that I admire about my father are he is diligent in prayer (he pray 5 times a day), read quran diligently, often go to the mosque , choose a good mother to her children ( umiku ), he remained in Islam , he was not drunk, alcoholic, gambler , smoker neither do domestic violence

I guess if my dad is perfect, I might have loved him so much and maybe I 'll love him so much and it exceeds my love of God
"A father could be God for his children when all affairs met with ease. Without a struggle . " - Yusuf Mansur .. "

When I think I gave my dad a second chance, God remind me quite politely.
He reminds me of the command that the child should be devote (honour and obey) to both parents. The command is not saying "devote to your parents if your parents are kind to you."
The command does not imply any order requirements / criteria that must be adhered to parents. 
The command is telling me as a child to serve/devote to parent, however the condition of the parents. 

Even in Islam , if our parents are non Muslim, the obligation to honour and obey their parents remain as the obligation of a child, as long as the parents do not make the child disobey Allah and do  things that are contrary to Islam.

I suddenly embarrassed. I was arrogant. Astagfirullah!
I thought when I gave my dad a second chance to be a good father ,my father should thank me.
It turns out I was wrong.  I am the one who should be thankful because God gave me a second chance to be a dutiful daughter to my parents.
thank you very much , O God
: ' D

Another important lesson is when I am trying forgive my father, I am also trying heal my wound and forgiving my self.

"... But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not." (Q.S. Al-Baqarah: 216)

video with similar message:

baca versi bahasa indonesia, disini
2 komentar on "Mulligan, The Second Chance"
  1. Indeed, to honour and obey our parents is our obligation as their kids. Try our best to do that. But, sometimes it's difficult for daugther to fully obey when she already has a husband. She need to prioritize her husband before her parent. How's your opinion about it?

    1. obedience to husband is necessary as long as his orders do not contain exploitation, injustice and deviation from the Shari’ah :)

      If there is conflict of interest, try to negotiate/communicate between your parent & your husband :)


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